Time to Learn

I woke up extra early this morning at 4:00am. Well, really I woke up at 2:00am and then dozed in and out of sleep. I looked at my mechanical watch so that I wouldn’t get weird time reversals or jump aheads. I say jump aheads because a few mornings ago when I got up and left the house to go to the pool, the digital clock in the car read 7:55am. I knew that wasn’t correct. I looked away to see where I was driving on my street then glanced back at the clock. It read 6:05am , which was the time I expected to see. This time jumping or digital clocks getting weird on me is happening almost daily now. I haven’t missed anything important yet with these time slips or jumps, however it has definitely gotten my attention.

I stayed in bed stroking my cat Gandalf, an all white long haired lover boy of a cat I adopted from a shelter about three years ago after Paasche transitioned to life after his physical one. Gandalf isn’t Paasche. As with most beings, they have a unique personality and their own quirks. Gandalf loves to hop on the bed and seek out my hands to pet him in the early morning hours. If I pretend I’m asleep, he gently nips at a hand until I pet him or bury my hands under the sheets.

I finally pulled myself out of bed around 4:45am, which was not that long before when I normally get up at 5:05am. Why 5:05 am, you ask? Because 5:00am was too much like a schedule, like needing to be at a meeting or appointment. So much of life when I worked in a high tech, high stress job had meetings which started on the hour. So I intentionally set my clock to a time after the hour, perhaps to assert my independence from having the clock run my life.

It reminds me of the town where I grew up that had the 8am and 5pm whistles which reminded me of a funny train whistle. You could count on those piercing steam whistle sounds every day, seven days a week. People set their watches and shop clocks to it in a day when you didn’t have a smart phone or the Internet. In fact, if you really needed to know the exact time, say for catching the passenger train that stopped in town several times a day, you needed to call “time” on your dial phone. Then you would get a recorded voice saying, “At the beep,” followed by an electronic beep sound. “It is,” followed by a more mechanical voice saying the precise time, like “Eight-oh-nine.” I liked the little shortcut that the telephone lady said, “Eight-oh-nine” rather than “Eight-zero-nine.” It was so much more relatable and less sounding like a computer.

I sat on my yoga mat and closed my eyes, breathing in and out deeply. I knew there was a greater adventure There coming, but I first wanted to know about these time slips and jumps. So I imagined there was a big soap bubble in front of me that grew with every exhale, and then in my imagination found myself sitting cross legged in it with Sri before me.

Inside the bubble, the color around me is blank. The floor, walls, ceiling/sky were all a light gray. It wasn’t a dirty gray like the sky around a coal power plant that are in my part of the country, Pennsylvania. Rather, this gray reminded me of a TV screen before an image appears. The TV is glowing and lit, but the image hasn’t appeared yet because the TV hasn’t warmed up.

So funny to think about TVs needing to warm up before you could watch them. Our family didn’t have the latest and greatest technology. My father believed in using something for fifty years or longer, which showed in all the old tools, fans, appliances, and the TV at our house. The TV needed to warm up because it had tubes in it which glowed and got really hot. One tube was for sound while the others did things to help the picture fill the screen and not do weird things like scroll up or down like a strange movie projector. So the gray image on the screen was more anticipatory than any broken or burned out tubes in what I would call this bubble where I sat.

I invited Sri to come before me for a question. He was once again appearing like a golden cat, regal and powerful, and just a little bit untamed looking with his fur a little unkempt. He looked like he had been up all night and out prowling a jungle or something mysterious like that. He did not look like my pampered house cats like Gandalf or Paasche before.

Pulling my attention back to the moment and not drifting away again on thoughts of TVs, other cats, and old appliances, I looked at Sri and calmed my breathing even more. My gray surroundings shifted to a golden honey color, or the color of dried tall grasses in the fall. The air even had a little of that grass and straw smell to it.

“What is going on with time?” I asked, picking a piece of straw off my mat and snapping it in my fingers. The smell reminded me of going on a hay ride as a kid several decades ago.

“Time is an illusion. It is a construct of the TV World. You are beginning to see time as you know it to shift more and more as you shift between your TV World and There. The more you are connected to the All of everything, the connectedness of all consciousness, the more time shifts. The more you realize you are everything and realize you are nothing simultaneously, the more time shifts. The more you become aware of just how much everything is talking to you, the more time shifts.”

“What do you mean by everything talking to you?” I could follow his prior statements about connecting to everything and feeling a part of everything and nothing, but the talking part seemed a little far out there.

“When you can hold a stone in your hand and it tells you how it feels and would like to be set down near your pond, you are beginning to listen. When you can sit beneath a big oak tree and it tells you a story about the tree nymphs and dryads singing and dancing at night in the moonlight, you are aware. When you can watch a spider start to make a web and she shows you in images how beautiful and intricate her web will be in just a few days, and how she sings and vibrates while she works, you are aware. When you can observe a huge bumble bee hovering with his tiny wings and wonder how he can fly and defy gravity, you are aware. There is so much more going on in the world than you can imagine. The more you are aware of all of this, and much, much more, time will fade away.”

“How can I learn more about being aware of everything and speaking to trees, rocks, water, and all other conscious beings?” My ego started to sneak back in momentarily as I thought how weird my sentence would be in TV World. It probably would be enough for someone to call me loony. But I shook my head and the ego thought just flew away like swatting at an annoying mosquito that wants to buzz your ear.

“I think it’s time for you to have another lesson. It is after all the afternoon period when everyone There is in a learning period.”

I remembered some weeks ago when I had first visited Cree and learned how mornings were for some sort of service activity, afternoons were for learning, and evenings were for group gatherings. It was so very different from TV World.

With that, the straw-like grasses faded away and I found myself on the banks of a wide, wild river. I say it was wild because it had a fast moving current with sticks and branches moving past and swirling around big rocks creating white frothy peaks in the water. If I was in a kayak, I would call these class four waves, or way too exciting for me to venture into.

“Exciting, isn’t it?” a new voice said in my head. I was starting to get used to the whole telepathy thing that I learned was commonplace There.

I turned around and saw a gigantic dark furry creature who was at least twelve feet tall. He had the fur similar to an alpaca, long, thick, and wavy. His head was humongous; it was maybe the size of two king size pillows. There was a band of white fur that circled his dark face, which reminded me a little of a lion’s mane. His eyes though, were amazing. They were deep and penetrating, and so gentle and wise. I was standing before a Sasquatch, as they are called in TV world.

“Are you ready to learn more about awareness?” he asked. “I am your teacher today.”

All of a sudden I remembered I had encountered this being before, in a dream back in TV world about a year ago. Technically, it was a dream within a dream. I dreamed I was dreaming, but didn’t realize I was still dreaming. I woke up and saw a shadowy being outside my window. It was the same face and eyes of he who stood before me now. In that dream I was a little frightened by how huge the was. The thought had crossed my mind that just a tiny plate of glass in the window separated me from this possible monster outside my window.

Then, using all my strength and courage, I decided to present myself with a sign of peace. I put my hand up on the window pane.

The being then put a hand up on the window pane from the other side so it mirrored my hand. His hand was at least four times the size of mine, so my hand was a tiny impression in the center of his large hand.

I then felt a huge wave of energy come from his hand into mine. It was energy of peace and love and compassion. In this dream I was thrown back from the window down onto my hardwood bedroom floor, and felt myself sliding about ten feet backwards on the floor on my back. I looked up and saw his gentle face again and all previous thoughts of fear or panic had just melted. I looked away for a second to see that I was across the room from the window, then looked back at the window. The large being had disappeared. I then opened my eyes and realized I had been dreaming. I was still in bed, waking up from an afternoon nap. That dream was so real though. I can still remember it as though I had just woken up minutes ago.

The journey continues…

Water insights

Continued from the last post…

My whole body shook.It was like a volcano that erupted from my gut, up through my heart, and then came out with sound breath. I didn’t understand why I was crying, just that is what was happening.

I wiped away tears in my now swollen red eyes and glanced over at Sri, who was still sitting in the small couch across the room. I then saw him shake his body like a dog does after it has had a bath. Instead of the golden fur he had worn the entire time I had known him in this form, as he shook his coat he transformed into the body and fur of what had been my favorite cat Paasche who had lived for fourteen years. His long coat was a chalky white except for a beautiful black plume tail and a little black area in between his ears and one black spot on his side. He was a breed called the Turkish Van.

Paasche was my favorite cat, and I have had several cat companions over the years. He cuddled up with me when I felt pain, such as recovering from major surgery. He would purr and curl up beside me and somehow soothe me and ease the pain. On cold winter evenings, I could count on Paasche to settle in on my lap, curl up and fall asleep for hours. Paasche would talk to me and ask to go outside to chase the squirrels. When he transitioned from TV world, it left a big hole in my heart.

But here, Sri changed his appearance and became my beloved Paasche. A mental part of my brain knew it was Sri and not Paasche, although he now looked like, felt like, acted like, and even smelled like my dear sweet cat that I hadn’t held in years.

Sri/Paasche hopped down from the couch, held his plume tail up high in the air, and came over to me. He hopped up into my lap as I continued to cry. Sri curled up in my lap and purred loudly. I could hear the purrs and felt the strong vibrations of his purrs radiating on my lap and against my chest.

After what felt like an hour, my sobbing ended yet I continued to pet Sri and feel the love I had for Paasche. I finally asked, “Please tell me, what happened? What was going on with this experience?”

Because Sri was telepathic, he could continue to purr as he spoke. This only added to my healing and comfort.

“As you already know, the healing pool affects anyone who steps into the liquid. You held some parts of you that still needed to be healed. You mourned the loss of being able to carry children in TV world. That transition in women is natural, but frequently there is no honoring of that transition in your culture. It is often seen as a failure, or step into worthlessness in a culture where creating and raising children is held with such high esteem. So in part, the healing pool helped you grieve and celebrate the transition to a new phase in life. Also, remember, Here is not TV world. It is possible for you to have children here at some time if that is best for you and the child so desires. Anything is possible here.”

I felt a leap of joy deep within somewhere. I had never had children in my life in TV world, although had been married for thirty years. I had explored the adoption process several years prior but had not been successful in that pursuit. I had a medical condition where I only experienced miscarriages and no children, and had watched friends and family create and expand their families. So There, in the living room of my stone cottage with Sri on my lap, I allowed myself to grieve and to be healed from that.

Sri continued. “Your heart still held a place that needed healing from your childhood as well. You had held on to that pain because it gave you strength, actually. By creating a little shell around a part of your heart, you became strong, independent, and could survive whatever trauma or issues presented themselves to you. What you actually were doing at those moments is you were drawing those experiences to you, and you were testing your strength to ward them off.”

The image of Wonder Woman popped into my head just then. Yes, she had been a childhood fan and role model for me. I would use those magic arm bands and stop any bullets of criticisms, shame, or hatred that were flung my way and send them flying away from me.

“You became so good at this process of attracting the bullets and sending them flying that you learned to protect your heart in a very deep place. As a result, it was very difficult for others with loving intentions to get to that deep place as well.”

I knew in my heart that Sri was right. I had learned to protect myself so well that I was also very good at keeping others away. My heart opens some for a few people, but is pretty cl was closed for many others.

But There, as I sat in the overstuffed chair with Sri on my lap, I felt my heart open up more. I felt a warmth stream in and light fill my insides. That vortex I experienced in the pool was my heart opening up finally and totally to receive and send love. There was no longer a need to have the metal box around my heart or the bullet fighting arm bands.

“Now what?” I asked Sri. “What’s next for me? I feel I’m only partially done with this process.”

“What you need is a nice bath, and I know just the place.” Sri stood up and stretched his front legs and arched his back. I interpreted his stretching as a cat version of a runner’s stretch. He still was in the form of my beloved cat Paasche with his big black plume of a tail. He then stood and looked at me expectantly then quietly turned from me in the living room.

Sri walked through the kitchen and out the back door onto the deep shaded porch past inviting chairs and hammocks which were set out and ready for my next guests, whomever they would be when the time as right. I followed close behind. There was a small path from the porch that led back into the woods about fifteen feet away. I could hear a waterfall even from the porch, the same waterfall I had explored some time earlier.

Sri trotted on ahead down the path in the woods. He was easy to keep track of with his chalk colored coat, unlike the previous Sri form where he would blend his surroundings like a jungle cat. Mountain Laurel, a cousin of the Rhododendron was in bloom so the path was lined with beautiful white flowering bushes against a dark green background. The air was filled with the music of song birds. About five minutes later we were at the waterfall, which had a nice pool forming at the bottom.

Sri motioned me with a paw and nodded his head inviting me to go into the pool. I pulled off my tunic, folded it, and placed it on a wide, flat, sunny rock that overhung the pool area. I jumped in feet first, not knowing how deep the water would be.

I instantly was over my head in the water. Being completely naked, I could feel the water touch every part of my skin, even those places the older folk would say, “where the sun doesn’t shine.” But There, in the pool, with only Sri as company, I was in my altogether. The cool water was quite a contrast to the warm summer air. It was cool, but not so cold to make me shiver. I bobbed back to the surface and swam over to the little waterfall and put myself in the stream. The water was only about two feet deep there, so siting in it, the water came up someplace on my upper chest area.

The current wanted to push me downstream, but I found some smooth boulders in the stream where I could position my feet and legs so I stayed more or less in the same spot.

The continuous water flow filled my ears and heart. It was very difficult to think of anything else while There in the water. The music of the birds in the woods was drowned out, leaving me with just the water sounds.

Because Sri spoke telepathically, I could hear him in my head. “Now look closely at the water. What do you see?”

I looked and saw a rainbow of color and flashes of sunlight dancing over the water.

“Look deeper,“ he instructed.

I concentrated my attention and started to see what best looked like dancing snowflakes of the water molecules. It reminded me of the experiments Masaru Emoto had where he froze water specimens and analyzed them under the microscope. These were dazzling, tiny moving water snowflake shapes, (I’ll call waterflakes) spinning and rotating round each other in a dance.

“Why are they doing that?” I asked. I remembered Masaru Emoto’s images of water where they were frozen into one shape.

“The water is conscious. But why not you ask it yourself more about what is happening.”

I opened my mind and heart some more. I felt a warmth in my heart area and pressure in the space above my eyes on my forehead. I asked the water in a sing-song phrase in my head, “I am you, you are me, we are one eternally. Let me see what you see.”

I had an image pop into my head where the water flowed from a deep cavern underground, from a chamber filled with tall crystals. The place reminded me of those crystal caves you can visit as a tourist in TV world with all the stalactites and stalagmites. The water swirled around the crystals which vibrated with love and joy and even celebration and tumbled over waterfalls made of crystal before the water found openings at the surface near where I was.

I then saw the waterflakes again with different shapes dancing in the water. I looked deeper and observed a single waterflake. It was filled with a complex six sided geometric pattern. As if I had a zoom lens in my head, I zoomed in a thousand times more and saw interlocking spheres spinning and moving. I zoomed in a thousand more times and saw an individual molecule of water spinning and moving and vibrating. Happy. That’s the word that came to mind. The water was happy.

I zoomed in further a million times more and saw yet another detailed six sided geometric shape made of interlocking spheres again. Each of these appeared to be like a shape called the egg of life, which is a circle with six overlapping circles within it. Although, instead of being flat as shown in many diagrams, these circles were spheres. The little spheres were all humming and vibrating in unison. One set of the spheres were all vibrating with the frequency of love. Another set was vibrating with the frequency of joy. I glanced around and others still were vibrating even higher with a frequency of celebration.

So there I was, immersed in the water, with a waterfall hitting my head and back like a beautiful cool whirlpool bath, and having billions of tiny sparks of vibrating water components. I was being bathed in frequency and light there in that pool of water.

After about an hour of that, I pulled myself out of the pool and sat on the warmed big flat rock. The sun streamed in through the trees and I sat there drying myself in the sun. I felt both exhausted and refreshed, which is an interesting combination. I felt exhausted from the constant water pulsing. Even out of the water, I could still feel ghosts of it hitting my back and head. It reminds me of the effect after being on a small boat for several hours. You get out of the boat and still feel the rocking motion even though you are on dry land. In this case, it was the feeling of being hit by billions of tiny particles of love, joy, and celebration.

Now dried off, I pulled my tunic back on. I looked around and Sri had disappeared, perhaps to go do cat things. I walked back to my stone cottage and felt exhausted. All I wanted to do was take a nap. I saw an inviting hammock swinging in the breeze gently when I got back to the porch and rolled myself into it. I closed my eyes and felt the sway of the hammock cradling me.

I woke up in TV world. My alarm hadn’t gone off on my tablet I use as an alarm clock. I glanced at the tablet, and the time was “stuck” at 5:50 am, or five minutes before when I normally wake up. Then as I looked at the tablet, the time suddenly jumped to 6:11 am and the alarm went off.

Interesting. This was not the first time that my digital clock went weird on me. Maybe I need to get a mechanical alarm clock.

The journey continues.

The garden

Continuing from the prior post, I stepped out of the now empty healing pool and walked towards Rael. I felt so relaxed and peaceful after that experience. I think it is an appropriate expression to say “I glowed.” There was a lightness, an energy about me that coursed through my veins as though I could do anything. I felt blockages had been removed and I had experienced an internal scrubbing. The air smelled sweet and fresh like after a heavy rain.

I had many questions but I felt I needed to sit with the experience for a while to digest before I asked questions.

Rael looked into my eyes and said, “We are done here. Thank you for your assistance.”

I glanced back at Karla then back to Rael. “What about Karla? Should I wait for her?”

“She has chosen another path. She is staying here to learn from the sound healers, or rather remember how to do this healing herself. You see, she was one of the sound healers for a very very long time, and desired to experience suffering and separation so that she would be better at her service as a sound healer. So, she incarnated as a person who wanted to experience the most suffering and separation possible in a small span of time, then experience the healing for herself.”

“I don’t understand,” I responded. “She was abused horribly throughout her life, by various people. Most recently by the boy whom I found with her in the flowers by my stone cottage. From what I saw, it was a violent relationship. How can anyone want that?”

Rael smiled. Colorful waves of loving energy expanded from him as he spoke. “The boy, who is back to being a grown man is Thomas. He and Karla agreed at a soul level long before they ever met that they would play a role for each other. It was a challenging yet loving decision before they were born in your world to help each other experience life in the manner they had. It was divinely perfect.”

We walked out of the egg shaped healing chamber through a doorway I hadn’t noticed before. I then found us in a beautiful manicured garden filled with all manner of flowering bushes and plants like you would find in the finest Arboriums or on estates. Off to one side was a path into a rose garden with hundred of different colors of blooms. The powerful spicy and sweet smells wafted my way through the air. To my other side was a beautiful clear lake surrounded by blossoming cherry trees. In the slight breeze, the white blossoms swirled and fell like a magical snow storm which was neither wet nor cold but could cover the ground. The lake was gently blessed with cherry blossoms near the shore. In the direction before me was an English style country garden, filled with a vast array of flowers of many heights and colors. Bees buzzed happily from plant to plant. The brilliant colors and intoxicating smells were glorious. It was like the best garden I had ever visited, times a hundred in beauty for all the senses.

I then drew back to the conversation I was having with Rael, although it would be nice to just sit in that garden for days. The garden just felt more pleasant than the conversation I was having.

“This is so strange,” I responded with a furrowed brow. “An abuser and the abused could be divinely perfect? How is abuse ever good?”

“I didn’t say abuse was good. In fact, there is no good or bad. Those are constructs created in your world to live in duality. There are just experiences for growth. The experience was divinely perfect, assisting them to expand their heart to better understand and feel greater compassion for those they serve.”

“So Karla is going to stay here?” I asked again. “You said she was one of these beings before?” I was trying to wrap my head around what I was hearing.

“Yes. Karla was a sound healer very much like the others here. She wanted to expand her heart to feel as those who came here might feel, so she would become more effective and compassionate. As you may have guessed, there isn’t the suffering and separation here as there is in your world. So she chose to go on a little adventure. She needed to forget everything, including how she was never alone and was a powerful being in order for the adventure to work properly. Now, she can share what she has learned and felt with the others and they all will be better healers.”

“I feel I understand now,” I responded. “But what about Thomas? I assume he also went to a healing pool. Is he staying here as well?”

“No. That is not his desire. He is coming here now. You can ask him yourself.”

I turned around and saw a man about 25 years old, dressed in the same silvery tunic come walking towards us. He was beaming with a warm smile and his step had a bounce to it.”

“Thank you for your assistance!” Thomas boomed then gave me a hug that squeezed my breath out for a moment. “What an experience!”

I assumed he was talking about the pool. “Did you see the colors and do things with the liquid in the pool?”

“Oh that,” Thomas began. “The healing pool helped me remember who I am and why I went to your world. I spent a lot of time floating in the healing pool and letting the waves roll over me.”

“So what now? Where would you like to go now?” I then remembered my role as a Founder with the fancy jump pad in my kitchen that could help him jump to a village of people anywhere, wherever There was. I hadn’t really figured out if There was another planet, another dimension, another time period like the time of Atlantis on Earth, or what it was. I tucked that thought back into my head to ponder another time.

“I am going back where I came. I believe you call it TV World. Now that I remember who I am, I need to go back and help others awaken, especially those burning with a passion fired with anger, deceit, envy, and powerlessness. Now that I am awake, I need to help others awaken.”

“Wow,” I said, which wasn’t profound. I couldn’t think of anything to say at that moment. I was speechless. I admired Thomas at that moment for being so sure and energetic and passionate about going back to TV World and helping others to wake up and prepare for a trip There. I could see that he would have no shortage of potential recipients to his loving support. Based on what I had observed through the news and on TV, many, many millions of people in TV World suffered in this way.

I looked to Rael looking for guidance. “Are you going to wave your hands and send him off to TV World now?”

Rael smiled and looked into my eyes. “You already know how to travel back and forth between the worlds. Why don’t you show him yourself.”

I thought for a moment, then remembered the Druidic Othala rune shaped like a diamond with two little tales at the bottom point of the diamond. I made a point with my index finger and and closed the rest of my fingers making a pointed fist. I cleared my mind with three deep breaths, then drew the shape. As I moved my finger in the air, a golden bright line appeared. When I finished, the shape began to grow and within a minute was as big as a doorway.

I glanced over at Thomas and noticed he was no longer wearing the silvery tunic. Now he wore jeans, a plain white T-shirt, and hiking boots loosely laced. He looked like he would blend in wherever he went.

“Thank you again,” Thomas said to me. I have so much gratitude for everything now.

Something had been bothering me though, so I blurted it out. “You have changed so much now. I mean, the anger is gone. The attitude is gone. You are a completely different person. How will others take the change?”

“That’s for them and their journey. Some people will reject it and may want me to revert back to how I was. They’ll tell themselves that this was some sort of phase I was going through, but that I would soon be back to my prior self. Others will think I am possessed by something and curse me. How they respond is their journey. I send them all blessings.”

I was amazed at how peaceful and joyful Thomas now was. I hugged him again. “Farewell, friend, until we meet again.” I didn’t know why I said that as before today I did not remember ever meeting him.

Thomas then stepped through the Othala shape with his right foot. When his left foot left the ground to continue passing through the shape, he began to fade as though a dimmer switch had been dialed down. In this case, instead of dimming down light, his entire body faded from view. Finally, the golden shape faded as well so that once again the was just the English garden before me.

I felt a lump in my throat and something churning in my gut. I wanted to sit down, immediately. I was starting to feel something strange within me.

I turned to Rael and he smiled. Him being one of few words, he raised his hands and made a little corkscrew shape with them.

Everything around me faded to black. And just like in a theater, the lights came back up within a few seconds. I was no longer in the garden with Rael. I was back in my living room in the stone cottage. Sri sat on the couch before me. I glanced down at myself and saw I was wearing my previous clothes of a cotton tunic dress. It was as if that entire experience lasted only seconds.

I collapsed back onto the big arm chair behind me. It was still warm from when I had been sitting there before. And then, I surprised myself by how I reacted. The tightness in my throat, gut, and chest grew stronger and my eyes began to fill up with tears. I began to sob.

The story continues…