I sat down on my yoga mat and breathed in deeply, held my breath, and breathed out again. I did this three times and then surrounded myself with a sacred shape of the flower of life shaped like an orb. It was a series of golden circles overlapping circles like a fancy chain link fence with me in the center.
Outside of this sacred golden ball, I imagined a thick gray fog. It was so thick that I couldn’t see a foot beyond the golden orb surrounding me. It was misty and gray, like a heavy fog that can envelop the tops of mountains or roll in from the ocean onto the coast. It was an emptiness, a nothingness. It was also totally still. I had an open window but the morning birds had not yet started their daily greetings. And so I sat, waiting for the fog to lift.
I found myself sitting on my yoga mat in my stone house living room, There. I knew I was There because there was such a calmness, a peace about the room. There were no electronic or mechanical hums of a clock, computer, refrigerator, or air conditioner there.
Then, I heard the cries or more like whimpers of children which caught my attention and forced me to open my eyes more and see what was going on. It was my first experience of anything other than total joy, bliss, or play, and it was coming from right outside my front door.
I went to the front door which was already open (who needs to lock doors There?) and stepped out onto the front porch. I listened some more and walked towards the far end of the porch and peered down. In the middle of a forest of bright white daisies with their towering stems, I saw two small children, perhaps three years old. They were hugging each other and in distress. They both oddly wore what looked like grown up clothes. There was a girl, who appeared to have on a woman’s cotton summer dress that hung on her like a huge sheet. The boy was wearing a man’s T-shirt that was more like a tent to him, with half his arm and head coming out of the top of the T-shirt. They both were filthy, as though they hadn’t had a proper bath in weeks. They had beautiful dark hair, but twigs and leaves and tangles created quite a mess.
I looked at myself for the first time and noticed I had similar dark hair, but mine was smooth and thick. I felt Asian Pacific, as did my two new little guests. I was wearing a simple sleeveless pink dress with little blue flowers and a blue woven sash.
I walked off the porch and walked around to where the two children were. I approached cautiously so as not to startle them. I smiled and said, “Hello, little ones. What are you doing here?”
They looked up and saw me. I saw something in their eyes, a recognition of sorts as though they knew me from a deep dream from long ago. Then I was almost knocked over as they both ran to me and wrapped their arms around my knees. They stopped crying, but held on tightly.
I crouched down and picked up the girl. It was as simple and natural to do as picking up my own child. She wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her head in my chest. She trembled slightly. I then reached down for the little boy and balanced him on my hip. He also hugged me with his arms around my waist. With that, I walked back up onto the porch. Fortunately the porch only had two steps up with all the extra weight I was carrying, although it didn’t feel like much weight at all. I then carried them into the house.
“Now what?” I asked myself as this was an interesting situation. “Who are they? Why were they alone? Why were they dressed up in adult clothing?” These and other questions filled my head.
Sri appeared, sitting on my couch which was more of a love seat. It could easily seat two adults. Sri looked at with loving eyes and spoke. “Sit down,” he said as he pointed a paw to a large rocking chair in front of me.
I complied. The little boy untangled himself from my hip and sat down next to me, with his arms still wrapped around my waist. The little girl still held tightly around my neck.
What happened next was natural, surprising, and loving. I started to rock the chair and hum.
At first my hum was very quiet, and barely a murmur, but it became stronger. Within a few minutes, I found myself singing a little tune about sleeping kittens, flowers, and sunshine. I don’t remember the words right now because they were just spontaneous and I tried to imagine the most gentle, loving things I could that would calm these two because I knew I wouldn’t get any answers from them for some time, if they would talk at all.
Slowly, after what felt like fifteen minutes, the little girl relaxed her deep clutch around my neck and grew limp. I knew if I stopped singing and rocking that she would probably wake up with a start. The boy yawned, and relaxed his arms from wrapping around my waist. He instead plopped his head down on my lap. I rocked on and looked over towards Sri, hoping he could shed some light on the situation.
“These are two new visitors for you.” He saw my puzzled expression as these were small children dressed as grownups. “They were, in your TV World grownups. They were full size and perhaps what you would call in their late 20’s. But coming Here, they couldn’t just come as they were because they had so many hurts and pains and needed healing. When they stepped through the veil from the TV world, they had to revert to a size when they first felt the pain.”
I looked down at the two in my arms, kissed the girl on her forehead, and stroked the boy’s thick hair.
“The little one in your arms had felt abandonment as a small child about this age and that abandonment haunted her for the rest of her life in TV World. She made a life of going into one bad relationship after another, needing and clutching whomever would give her attention. She learned to flirt and use her feminine charms to lure men to pay attention to her.”
Sri continued. “The boy next to you was abused as a small child, both verbally and physically. His home environment was very strict and punishing for even little things like dropping a toy or spilling his milk. He he got strong enough and big enough, he started to hurt things around him to lessen his hurt. First, he hurt little animals, and then he hurt and abused in relationships. So in TV World, these two were what you would call a couple, or two in a relationship albeit very toxic and co-dependent. They each gave each other attention they craved, but the cycle of violence and cowering and apologies and abuses they threw at each other was no substitution for love.”
He paused. I could tell this was a very dark story, and sadly, one I had heard enacted many many times in TV World. “These two need to be healed first before they can join one of the many beautiful communities Here. They are not ready for the Jump Pad. They need to experience love first. So, coming Here, they are wearing what they last wore in TV World, but they shrank to a size and age of when they first started to feel the abandonment, hurt, and shame. They need to start back at that period of when they were small children for their healing.”
“But why here? Why come to me? Why did I find them in my flower bed outside my porch?”
“I thought you would know by now. You are a Founder. You have what one could say is a little homing beacon, helping people find home. They found you. You have a role in helping them in their next step to their becoming whole again.”
“So now what?” I asked. “What is next?”
Before Sri could answer, the room was filled with a brilliant swirl of golden light with streaks of violet and blue. Then, in the center of that swirl was a very bright being.
I wouldn’t call the being male or female. There was no beard or discernible woman’s shape to differentiate one or the other. (As pronouns are difficult, I just named this being Rael with the pronoun “They and Them” when I had to so I didn’t keep repeating the name Rael in every sentence.)
Rael wore a white tunic that looked like woven gold and silk, flowing and with a slight glow to it. It’s hard to put into words. They definitely was angelic, but was nothing like the angels of Christmas cards with delicate features and wings like doves. Rael didn’t have wings at all. Instead, They had waves of energy that was wispy like smoke and swirled around Them. It was so difficult to put into human words of understanding for TV World. The closest thing I could compare it to was mist rising above a lake at dawn on warm summer mornings. The mist hovers and swirls and seems to take on a shape, but there isn’t a mass like a bird or tree branch.
Rael looked at my with deep loving blue eyes and spoke. “Thank you dear one. These little ones need to come with me to go to the healing place.” Seeing that the children were still holding to me although asleep, he then said, “And you may join them and see for yourself what happens There.”
He then raised his arms as to bless us. I felt waves of joy and tranquility swirl around the chair and breathed in a sweet smell like lilacs and honeysuckle. In a flash, I found myself standing in a golden swirling fog holding the little girl The little boy was no longer holding on to me. The next thing I saw before the fog completely hid my view from everything was seeing a young man, perhaps about 25 years old, athletic and with a very kind face pick up the boy and hold him in his arms. Then the golden fog completely hid everything from view. I stood there and waited.
The journey continues…