I woke up extra early this morning at 4:00am. Well, really I woke up at 2:00am and then dozed in and out of sleep. I looked at my mechanical watch so that I wouldn’t get weird time reversals or jump aheads. I say jump aheads because a few mornings ago when I got up and left the house to go to the pool, the digital clock in the car read 7:55am. I knew that wasn’t correct. I looked away to see where I was driving on my street then glanced back at the clock. It read 6:05am , which was the time I expected to see. This time jumping or digital clocks getting weird on me is happening almost daily now. I haven’t missed anything important yet with these time slips or jumps, however it has definitely gotten my attention.
I stayed in bed stroking my cat Gandalf, an all white long haired lover boy of a cat I adopted from a shelter about three years ago after Paasche transitioned to life after his physical one. Gandalf isn’t Paasche. As with most beings, they have a unique personality and their own quirks. Gandalf loves to hop on the bed and seek out my hands to pet him in the early morning hours. If I pretend I’m asleep, he gently nips at a hand until I pet him or bury my hands under the sheets.
I finally pulled myself out of bed around 4:45am, which was not that long before when I normally get up at 5:05am. Why 5:05 am, you ask? Because 5:00am was too much like a schedule, like needing to be at a meeting or appointment. So much of life when I worked in a high tech, high stress job had meetings which started on the hour. So I intentionally set my clock to a time after the hour, perhaps to assert my independence from having the clock run my life.
It reminds me of the town where I grew up that had the 8am and 5pm whistles which reminded me of a funny train whistle. You could count on those piercing steam whistle sounds every day, seven days a week. People set their watches and shop clocks to it in a day when you didn’t have a smart phone or the Internet. In fact, if you really needed to know the exact time, say for catching the passenger train that stopped in town several times a day, you needed to call “time” on your dial phone. Then you would get a recorded voice saying, “At the beep,” followed by an electronic beep sound. “It is,” followed by a more mechanical voice saying the precise time, like “Eight-oh-nine.” I liked the little shortcut that the telephone lady said, “Eight-oh-nine” rather than “Eight-zero-nine.” It was so much more relatable and less sounding like a computer.
I sat on my yoga mat and closed my eyes, breathing in and out deeply. I knew there was a greater adventure There coming, but I first wanted to know about these time slips and jumps. So I imagined there was a big soap bubble in front of me that grew with every exhale, and then in my imagination found myself sitting cross legged in it with Sri before me.
Inside the bubble, the color around me is blank. The floor, walls, ceiling/sky were all a light gray. It wasn’t a dirty gray like the sky around a coal power plant that are in my part of the country, Pennsylvania. Rather, this gray reminded me of a TV screen before an image appears. The TV is glowing and lit, but the image hasn’t appeared yet because the TV hasn’t warmed up.
So funny to think about TVs needing to warm up before you could watch them. Our family didn’t have the latest and greatest technology. My father believed in using something for fifty years or longer, which showed in all the old tools, fans, appliances, and the TV at our house. The TV needed to warm up because it had tubes in it which glowed and got really hot. One tube was for sound while the others did things to help the picture fill the screen and not do weird things like scroll up or down like a strange movie projector. So the gray image on the screen was more anticipatory than any broken or burned out tubes in what I would call this bubble where I sat.
I invited Sri to come before me for a question. He was once again appearing like a golden cat, regal and powerful, and just a little bit untamed looking with his fur a little unkempt. He looked like he had been up all night and out prowling a jungle or something mysterious like that. He did not look like my pampered house cats like Gandalf or Paasche before.
Pulling my attention back to the moment and not drifting away again on thoughts of TVs, other cats, and old appliances, I looked at Sri and calmed my breathing even more. My gray surroundings shifted to a golden honey color, or the color of dried tall grasses in the fall. The air even had a little of that grass and straw smell to it.
“What is going on with time?” I asked, picking a piece of straw off my mat and snapping it in my fingers. The smell reminded me of going on a hay ride as a kid several decades ago.
“Time is an illusion. It is a construct of the TV World. You are beginning to see time as you know it to shift more and more as you shift between your TV World and There. The more you are connected to the All of everything, the connectedness of all consciousness, the more time shifts. The more you realize you are everything and realize you are nothing simultaneously, the more time shifts. The more you become aware of just how much everything is talking to you, the more time shifts.”
“What do you mean by everything talking to you?” I could follow his prior statements about connecting to everything and feeling a part of everything and nothing, but the talking part seemed a little far out there.
“When you can hold a stone in your hand and it tells you how it feels and would like to be set down near your pond, you are beginning to listen. When you can sit beneath a big oak tree and it tells you a story about the tree nymphs and dryads singing and dancing at night in the moonlight, you are aware. When you can watch a spider start to make a web and she shows you in images how beautiful and intricate her web will be in just a few days, and how she sings and vibrates while she works, you are aware. When you can observe a huge bumble bee hovering with his tiny wings and wonder how he can fly and defy gravity, you are aware. There is so much more going on in the world than you can imagine. The more you are aware of all of this, and much, much more, time will fade away.”
“How can I learn more about being aware of everything and speaking to trees, rocks, water, and all other conscious beings?” My ego started to sneak back in momentarily as I thought how weird my sentence would be in TV World. It probably would be enough for someone to call me loony. But I shook my head and the ego thought just flew away like swatting at an annoying mosquito that wants to buzz your ear.
“I think it’s time for you to have another lesson. It is after all the afternoon period when everyone There is in a learning period.”
I remembered some weeks ago when I had first visited Cree and learned how mornings were for some sort of service activity, afternoons were for learning, and evenings were for group gatherings. It was so very different from TV World.
With that, the straw-like grasses faded away and I found myself on the banks of a wide, wild river. I say it was wild because it had a fast moving current with sticks and branches moving past and swirling around big rocks creating white frothy peaks in the water. If I was in a kayak, I would call these class four waves, or way too exciting for me to venture into.
“Exciting, isn’t it?” a new voice said in my head. I was starting to get used to the whole telepathy thing that I learned was commonplace There.
I turned around and saw a gigantic dark furry creature who was at least twelve feet tall. He had the fur similar to an alpaca, long, thick, and wavy. His head was humongous; it was maybe the size of two king size pillows. There was a band of white fur that circled his dark face, which reminded me a little of a lion’s mane. His eyes though, were amazing. They were deep and penetrating, and so gentle and wise. I was standing before a Sasquatch, as they are called in TV world.
“Are you ready to learn more about awareness?” he asked. “I am your teacher today.”
All of a sudden I remembered I had encountered this being before, in a dream back in TV world about a year ago. Technically, it was a dream within a dream. I dreamed I was dreaming, but didn’t realize I was still dreaming. I woke up and saw a shadowy being outside my window. It was the same face and eyes of he who stood before me now. In that dream I was a little frightened by how huge the was. The thought had crossed my mind that just a tiny plate of glass in the window separated me from this possible monster outside my window.
Then, using all my strength and courage, I decided to present myself with a sign of peace. I put my hand up on the window pane.
The being then put a hand up on the window pane from the other side so it mirrored my hand. His hand was at least four times the size of mine, so my hand was a tiny impression in the center of his large hand.
I then felt a huge wave of energy come from his hand into mine. It was energy of peace and love and compassion. In this dream I was thrown back from the window down onto my hardwood bedroom floor, and felt myself sliding about ten feet backwards on the floor on my back. I looked up and saw his gentle face again and all previous thoughts of fear or panic had just melted. I looked away for a second to see that I was across the room from the window, then looked back at the window. The large being had disappeared. I then opened my eyes and realized I had been dreaming. I was still in bed, waking up from an afternoon nap. That dream was so real though. I can still remember it as though I had just woken up minutes ago.
The journey continues…